Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Duty Calls...& I don't like it

Wow folks! Its seriously been forever since I have posted anything. Reason being how could I have time to post when I barely have time to pee. TMI I know but hey thats how I roll these days. Actually that is how Ive always rolled that way and only recently toned it down due to the influence of a very modest man. Hehe.
First off I will start it out with a update on the kiddos for those not on FB.
AK turned 4 in July. She is officially a Big Girl (her words, not mine). She now needs "personal space" which is found in her room. She pretends to be all sorts of things up there. Pretty much Jeff and I just hear footsteps, jumping, knocking from above and pray all is well in Big Girls room. She will start 4K this fall and go 4 days which both mommy & daughter are happy to be happening. Our new found love for princesses and Rapunzel in particular cracks me up. We went from princess what to living, breathing, and dying for all things purple & gold (Rapunzel colors). She still is hilarious on every level due to her overactive brain and adult language. Just as I type this she said she needed to go to dot.com dolphins immediately. This is seriously stuff that comes out of her all the time.

Next on to the "middle child". Blake. OH MY HEAVENS. There was a moment, well probably many moments, when I prayed that the tiny being in my belly would survive and that if God would save her precious life I would not complain or take for granted her existance here on earth. FYI: DO NOT ASK FOR THINGS YOU KNOW YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP! This child test my patience almost every hour upon the hour of each and every day. She has a tempur like no other. Her shear will do anything is exhausting and her physicial strength wears me down to a tiny spec of dust at the end of the day. Lord knows when she flashes that crooked tooth grin of hers I melt and typically laugh but this is after I have beat her with the "spanking spoon" 100 times over. Whew just thinking about all of her being exhaust me. Lets just say modern miracle in the dictionary should hold a picture of Blake beside it. Because this child has no idea she was 9 weeks early or had a tumor or went without oxygen for long periods of time. Nope she things she is superwomen and is bound to prove this to the world. Lets just hope her super powers are used for good and not evil.

OH Palmer bringing up the rear. She is sweet (most of the time) and joyful. Yes, joyful would be a good word to describe her. Singing, dancing, shouting, and prancing around in her high heels, tiara, & and pacifier oh and lets not forget puppy tucked under one armpit is how SHE rolls daily. She is not the instigator of the bunch but is a follower for sure. Love her ability to want to snuggle at any moment but dislike her anger manegement issues when something is "MINE".
They both will celebrate their 2nd birthday Thursday. Its hard to believe how time has passed. One moment your pregnant and the next you have a whole litter of kids and your shoving them out the door with their backpacks on. The twins will start MDO this month (PTL), two days a week. I am looking forward to a little peace but nervous at how they will do socializing with other kids not their siblings. Sharing really scares me and them-hehe. It will all be fine I keep telling myself.

In two weeks we head up to Cincy for B's yearly MRI and clinic visit. I literally am almost brought to tears when I think about how excited Dr. Lim will be to see his little miracle. She is a walking, talking, breathing, ball of fire and he helped give all of that to her. It is going to be fun for sure.

Now with all the updates out there in to blogger world let me carry on to a little venting.
Today (like most days) was challenging. But for some reason I was especially exhausted and when looking at the clock realized I still had about 4 hours until bedtime. Ugh, what a irritating feeling. So I made myself a cup of Jo and rallied like a big girl should, along with my spanking spoon. Me and the spanking spoon are TYT these days.
Sometimes being a mother is just sickeningly joyful but sometimes being a mother is aggrivating and just plain irritating. I feel sort of sad writing that but like I said earlier, honesty is how I roll. Today my children frustrated me terribly. After I finally had the twins in their room and down for the night well sort of...Blake laying at the door fingers poking from under the crack screaming and crying for mommy down...AK asked about 13 questions, for a new tv show, more lemonade, more supper, help her with this, help her with that..the list continues on. I know all of these items and task are my duty as a mother to do or help her learn to do but I finally looked at her and said, "sometimes mommy's need rest and need to take care of themselves and this is one of those moments." After she looked at me with a "what in the heck kind of language are you speaking here lady" she said ok mom, but....

Has anyone ever had a day where you just can't carry on anymore? Don't you feel bad? I do and I know I shouldn't because it is alright for people to wear down. But I do then I feel bad for not being able to give 100% to my kids and having a short temper. Parenting is hard! Thanks for listening friends.